horror

I took this break off from work, even though I usually work full time over breaks. It has allowed me the chance to do nothing but sit on my ass and watch movies. In line with that, I hit the jackpot at the thrift and got 5 horror dvds, none of which I watched, of course.

I've been into horror for many years now, but only in the past two have I really started to commit to it as a niche. I honestly could not say what about horror draws me in so much. There are abstract ideas about fear and proteced enviroments, but I'm talking about why I like to sit there and watch, about what makes them different from the standard dramas that maintain the standard.

I feel it's almost impossible to be a casual horror fan. If you are into horror, then that is your thing, else you're not really into it. I kind of get it. All I want to watch is horror, and to have so much of it at my fingertips makes it almost compulsory. It also makes it easier to communicate with other horror people, as we thrive off the niche. Sure, my favorite is Texas Chainsaw, but this weird Japanese movie is so much more interesting to talk about.

finals

Finals are kicking my ass like never before. I'm only taking three classes, but man I'm feeling every one of those credit hours. I don't think I've been fully awake at any point in the past three weeks. The end of term drags heavy. Having a written, multiple choice final for a coding class is already a little absurd, but to have that final be worth 15% of the final grade? Entirely illogical. Also, fuck Assembly, if I get over a 70 on the final I'll be happy.

In other news, the guy at the gas station this morning was very nice, shout out to him.

time

I've been thinking a lot lately about that one comment that said 'the time will pass anyways'. I creeps into my thoughts every time I put off doing something I enjoy for an inexplicable reason. I think the simplicity of the statement strikes me in a way the abstract idea does not. Yes, you cannot control time, it is a universal constant, but it will pass, and letting it pass is not doing anything. Not doing it is not proving your humility to anyone. You suck and that's okay.

I don't think this phrase alone can defeat the feeling of humiliation when your lack of skill causes something to be wrong. That feeling crushes spirits, and has been the artistic death of many. The internet's role in this is complex. It has never been easier to learn, to become inspired, to see great works of art every day. it has also never been easier to feel inadequate, to feel alone in your naivety, to see great peaces of art next to your clumsy ones.

I don't know that this phrase has changed my life, but it certainly has changed something. Maybe it is a catalyst for a shift in mindset. Maybe its just another social media comment.